Don't Hurt Me

I've spent so many years watching couples.
Observing as they passed me by holding hands or wrapping their arms around each other. 
Bumping noses and playfully knocking elbows into the other's arm.
Places like the amusement park, or the bowling alley, or the park.
I stare shamefully and bitterly with jealousy.
Why can't I have that?
I've been though things in my life that would prevent me from feeling this way...
But now, it's all changed.
My perspective is way different.
I realize that I've been scared of it, a little because I craved it.
I yearned for it and was not sure how to get it.
Is it really so hard?
Looking for that one person to love you back?
Even then, they may say they care...but it becomes different.
They act differently.
They speak to you differently...and not in the way you've daydreamed about.
It makes me think, "What is wrong with me?" 
There has to be some unspoken reason that feelings I felt for someone has never been reciprocated.
Something that every other guy seems to see but me.
I think I'm pretty fine. 
I used to be confident.
Until I stopped and realized this happens over and over.
It continues to repeat itself.
I'm tired of tears.
I don't want to be bitter again.
I'm really hoping next time, I can write something maybe a little happier to my followers.